Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Some of my thoughts

First - we are still at home - Praise God!  Peyton actually even had two good days in a row (no tummy pains = good day).  We are hopeful that this is the start of a new trend that continues without end!

Second - I have to share some of those thoughts that I mentioned in my last post - that I have been writing in my mind but not putting letters to.

Peyton and I were visiting a good friend at the Children's Hospital Saturday morning and though it was a brief visit any time there is enough to get me thinking.  We were driving away and I came to a stoplight just a block away from the hospital.  I found myself drifting into the sunbeams momentarily and after being startled abruptly, I realized the light had changed and the man behind me was honking angrily.  Now you have to know that the car in front of me had barely moved into the intersection, but apparently I was not moving fast enough.  He laid on his horn and after a second decided that was not enough so he moved to the right hand lane to pass me.  The funny part was that I had already rejoined reality and was now traveling at the speed of those around me.  He wasn't getting anywhere fast.  He quickly realized the futility of his attempt so he moved back behind me.  About 100 meters later, he pulled into the left hand turn lane, but was still so irritated at my previous slowness that he again laid on his horn.  I suppose he felt he had a duty to do to let me know I was in the wrong and that I should never do that again, but I longed for an opportunity to have just 30 seconds of his time to tell him why I was slow off the start.  As I was thinking this through it occurred to me that I have been in both sides of this scenario now, and for a moment I felt saddened by my previous behavior.  What if the person I was so impatiently waiting for just lost someone in a car wreck, drove away from a hospital where they left someone behind, left a child forever in someone else's hands, experienced a breakup or family crisis, or lost a job?  What good would my honking (or desire to honk) do?  Would it only serve to make their frustration more intense?  What they probably needed was a prayer.  Worse yet, my frustration in those situations only serves to irritate me.  Perhaps I should enjoy an opportunity to let life slow down a bit and be thankful for that moment to breathe more deeply.  I am going to try this approach, even if I can't have 30 seconds of that man's time.

I have to share one more thought that came through an interaction with my beautiful son Peyton.  He was eating breakfast ever so slowly this morning and wanted a story.  He wanted a story about lighthouses, little blue ones.  As I told him the story, he wanted to know all about lighthouses and what their purposes are.  My thoughts went two directions simultaneously - answering the questions while realizing the depth of the picture we were creating.  
Bear with me while I process my thoughts in ink... a lighthouse serves to shed light on the unseen, to provide guidance in a fog, and to warn of potential areas of danger.  The thought occurred to me as I told him the story that perhaps at different times in our lives we are either the lighthouse or the ship sailing nearby.  I thought of how many times I have looked for the lighthouse over this past year and am so thankful for all the lighthouses in my life.  Thank you.  There are so many of you!  
Peyton wanted to know more about the light in the house then.  I am sure that most lighthouses are automated now, but there was a time when the light had to be kept burning by the keeper, and even now someone always makes sure everything is working alright.  I realized that at those times when I have hopefully been the lighthouse there has been someone keeping my light burning and I am abundantly thankful for the Source of the Light.  Thank you Father God.  
My sons teach me so much more than they know, what a gift they are.  Enjoy your children this week for me!  Breath them in and give them that extra kiss!


erinlo said...

I loved this post, Kari. LOVED it. I have been on both sides of your driving story. The one deep in thought and the one honking angrily. I have never stopped to think what the one who made me angry might be going through but I will now. I definitly will.

Thank you for reminding me to enjoy my children today. I think I'll go do that right now!

I love you! -Erin

Aisling said...

Thanks for this Kari. I sometimes need your beautiful reminders to cherish the time I have with K, J & C because they are at the age where they are testing me (us) constantly. I am off work the next few days because I miss being at home with them on a regular basis and I needed to just hang out with my boys.

But the days when I walk through the door to the excitement, smiles and 'I missed you mummy' 3 times over, it makes me realize how blessed I am. And I am blessed to have a friend like you who will write such beautiful words, which continue to remind me. Love you!!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, Kari. Thank you for helping me change my attitude.


The John said...

Beautiful words Kari. Man I suck, I'm a honker. Glad Peyton is home.

Lindy said...

what a wonderful post! the first part was very well said, and helped me remember to just slow down sometimes! So glad that Peyton is doing better!

Svetlana said...

what a wonderful post, Kari! thanks for making me think about how I react to different things and that I need to be patient (though it's hard to be patient in our crazy busy lives)...love you guys!

The Pakosz Crew said...

What a wonderful post. I had a very, very difficult day with my kids today, and you have once again reminded me that even these days have good in them. Things were not even really that bad, I am just not processing well right now. Tomorrow, I promise, my beautiful kids will go to bed knowing how much mama loves them, and how truly remarkable my days are with them.
Thank you for blessing my life.

Jen said...

iously, Kari, you need to write a book. If you haven't started one--do it now!! I would buy it and cherish the words in a second! The Lord has blessed you with a depth of wisdom that just isn't present in people our age.

Melinda said...

I'm so happy that Peyton has had some recent relief from the pain he's been experiencing. What a strong little man. I hope the weekend brings more of the same. Your strength amazes me.


Anonymous said...


I'm sitting here on the unit reading your blog...I know I should be checking charts and plowing through paperwork but I needed to read the blog. Tonight when you spoke to me about the memories of the admitting desk and that final admission with Drew... You are such an amazing person, you always make me step back and look at the bigger picture. Like in your blog, when someone is sitting at a red light lost in thought I'll be a little slower on the horn and think of you. I'm babbling now, must be the midnight hour!

Hugs to you and yours,