Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Can we roll back time and hold it there?

Daddy's favorite picture of Drew
One of Mommy's favorite pictures of Drew
There just is no easy way to say what we are having to say...  my heart aches to be able to tell you Drew has been miraculously healed, but that is not what I get to say right now.  Through my tears I will write that the doctors have given Drew a limited number of days before he gets to sit in God's lap and be held close by him.  I am still praying that they aren't right and that God has some wonderful plan to heal Drew at the last minute, but at the same time my heart groans for Drew every time he gasps for air or seizes with courage.  He is slipping away, bit by bit.  I never knew something could hurt so bad, and yet you have to keep breathing somehow.  The only way I am getting through this right now is by constantly reminding myself that "God is able to do immeasurably more than I can think or imagine." (Ephesians 3)  If He is going to do that and what I'm imagining is Drew healthy, running around in the back yard with Peyton having fun, it must be really good.  I know we will have to go through this pain and work through many struggles, but I also know God is good and will not leave us to suffer alone.  We have had so much support through the nurses, doctors, prayer groups, our church and so many churches and people we don't even know!  We had no idea the reach such a little one could have - we pray that God will change many lives through Drew's life.  He reminds me of a brilliant ray of sunshine that comes and warms everyone in its path but passes quickly to serve another purpose.  Please don't misunderstand me as I write this, we have absolutely not given up on Drew, but he is so far from the Drew we know that it feels that he is gone already in some ways.  God has performed greater miracles.  How will this miracle look?

Details:  The doctors came to talk to us Monday and told us that after looking at his most recent MRI and EEG that his brain is deteriorating.  He doesn't seem to see us anymore and cannot move at all.  Some of his body functions are starting to fail slowly.  The doctors estimate he may have days or weeks to stay with us, but they don't expect he will have months.  His condition/symptoms are in line with a mitochondrial disease, as they have been expecting all along.  We still don't have a diagnosis, but they are 99% sure this is what he's suffering from, and that it's a very severe form of these diseases.  Our prayers are these: that God would still heal Drew somehow, that God will be glorified through this, that Drew will NOT suffer, that God will strengthen our family, that this disease would be limited to Drew and not affect any of our other family members, and that we may be able to have more kids, unaffected by this disease, in the future if it be God's will.

We will try to keep you posted but I am just aching to get back to Drew's side right now and kiss his little head, smell his smell, listen to his heart beating so courageously and just to breath him in so I must sign off.  Thank you all for standing by us through this, we couldn't do it without you.


52 comments:

Aisling said...

A beautiful boy and will always be, even if God gives him wings.

Our hearts and minds are with you every minute!

Steve & Aisling

Reece, Rachel, Abby, Laureli, and Cariana said...

I knew Drew was precious every time I got to hold him, but if I had realized what a privilege it was to be a witness to his little life, I would have held him so much tighter. My heart is breaking for your family, and yet God seems to have given you so much peace and maturity to get through this. I think everyone who knows you has been humbled by your grace and strength. You're constantly in our thoughts and prayers, and no matter what, I promise that we'll never, ever forget Drew.

Melinda said...

Kari,
My heart is so sad for you. I am encouraged by your strength. I know God is with you. Thank you for taking this precious time you have with Drew to update us all. You are in my prayers.
Melinda

Carla said...

My dear friend
I pray that God gives you moments of sunshine when you need it the most to help you make it through to the next.

Please give my buddy a big hug.

Love Carla

Aimee said...

My heart aches for all of you during this difficult time of uncertainty and I pray that whatever is to come you all find peace and comfort.

Please have Drew's grandpa Dennis give him a hug and a kiss for me and know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Aimee Bourque

Jan H said...

We think of all of you so often. The beautiful fall days are a reminder that life is just for a season and then God takes us for a rest. Drew will be perfect in Jesus' arms and you will see him again someday. Thanks for your precious posts about him. We love you. Be strong and of good courage, for God is with you. Love, Jan H.

Brock Paulk said...

We're just one more of those families praying for you (friends of Kevin and Laura in Texas)...

drjon said...

Kari and Jordan,

We hope somehow God bring you comfort through this most unimaginable time. Our prayers are with Drew, you, and your family.

Jon, April, Trevor, and Amra Wilhelm

Valerie said...

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers, I admire your faith and trust, even in such a difficult time.
Tom & Valerie (Droge) Hubers

SN said...

Those of us who know you and your family, and others who have seen your blog and don't even "know" you, are continually being blessed by your faith. Little Drew is having a BIG effect. We love you very much and are praying for your whole family.

Doug, Sue, Kyle & Ashley

Kevin and Laura said...

There just aren't words for how amazed we are by ya'lls faith and strength. We LOVE you, we HURT for you, and we PRAY for you always. I believe angels have been holding Drew's hand for quite some time now, I know he must feel so much peace and love being in your arms and God's arms all at the same time.

Josh said...

Your courage and faith in God have been on my heart alot the past week. I'm hurting just thinking about what you are going through. While it is physically impossible for me to imagine and understand how there is a greater love for a child from their parent, to know that God's is so much more must be comforting. I'm praying for heaven to be here on earth and to dwell in Drew's body. You are all in my prayers.

Lyndi said...

Mt 11:28-Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
We are diligently praying that our Lord will give you the strength, courage, and peace that can only come from Him. Our hearts and minds are with you and Drew.

Ton said...

I am so sorry for the pain that you are all going through.Please know that you have the love and support and Prayers of all of us. May GOD give you strength and courage. May he wrap his arms around all of you and guide you through this road that you have been going through. Please know that you are not alone you have all of us but most of all each other and GOD. My prayers are with Drew, and you're whole family. GOD BLESS YOU ALL....

Shawnda said...

This post takes my breath away. My heart is aching for you, and we are praying with you!

Angela said...

OH how my heart hurts for you right now. There is nothing I could say to give you any peace or comfort, but thankfully we serve a MIGHTY GOD who can. You are in our prayers and in our hearts.

erinlo said...

We love you. We are praying for peace that passes all understanding.

Lane said...

I found your site through Laura's, I am a friend that went to Harding with her and Kevin.
My heart aches with yours. I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. But you guys seem to be handling it so well. I pray that God will give you guys peace and strength in the upcoming weeks/months.
Thank you for taking time away from your precious Drew to update all of us.
God Bless

Heather said...

tears are just flowing down my face. may God heal your preious baby and give you all peace. praise the LOrd that we can have hope, that we know one day you will have perfect bodies in heaven together. im so sorry you are going through such heartbreak. it makes me feel like scum for being upset at my 7mo old son (who has a cold) for not sleeping. LOrd- please forgive me.
i'll be praying for your beautiful son, your precious blessing. im so sorry.

Dallas said...

I am praying with you and the thousands of others. Your boy is beautiful and so, so precious! God will be glorified!!!!!

Buckners said...

Jordan, Kari, Peyton, Drew,
I am Bruce Buckner in Montana. I am a brother in the church to your folks, Kari. They have been the source of much happiness for us over the last year 18 months or so. Its nice to read your thoughts. They mirror our own as we said our good-byes to Truman. What is all-important is that you are enjoying him and loving him and poking him and touching him and appreciating the time you have with this special gift from God. Words just are not good enough to convey the perfectness that is manifest in a miracle such as Drew. He has forever changed your lives....nothing will ever be the same again.....regardless of how long you have Drew.
Please know that we cry for you all and pray that Drew continues his work for as long as is needed and God continues to strengthen your family and friends as the days come and go. The Buckners

mallize said...

My heart aches for you guys. Marie and I are praying for you and you are constantly on our minds.

May His grace and peace be with you,
Matt Clement

April Jackson said...

There isn't an hour that goes by that I'm not thinking of Drew. You are helping me to remember to not take anything for granted as a mother to my daughter. There are people everywhere praying for your family!

dorinda said...

Kari and Jordan,
Our hearts ache and we physically cry with you. How can we express our appreciation that you are willing to share with us this time with Drew? Continue to draw strength on our Savior and through the thoughts and prayers of so many.
love, Dorinda

Richard said...

Jordan and Kari,
I knew that Drew was sick, but I haven't kept up with the details over the past few months and for that I am sorry. I will continue to pray for your family and pray for healing. I love you guys and even though I'm pretty far away let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Richard Wiginton

Leslie said...

Your family is continuously in my thoughts and prayers, cherish every minute with that precious baby boy.

Tricia said...

Kari & Jordan,
My heart breaks for the pain you are all in right now.
"May God Hold You in the Palm of his Hand" and give you and your extended families strength and courage.
God's Plan is not always our plan.

You are all in our prayers daily.

Se & Tricia ( Aisling's Mum & Dad)

Lisa said...

I came across you blog after reading a friends that said to keep your family in prayers. My heart aches for your family, I have a 5 mon old, & reading about your situation reminds me to cherish every single moment with him. Just remember that God can perform miracles and I pray that he continues to give you such strength throughout this difficult time.

One Hale of a Story... said...

Your sweet family is lifted up in my prayers. We are not skilled to understand God's will or God's plan. We serve an amazing Savior, an awesome God, and a faitful Father. Thank you for sharing Drew's story with us. God is being glorified in your suffering. We pray diligently for you!

Emily Hougland said...

It's 2am - I just couldn't sleep wondering of more word of Drew, so I was very appreciative to see your update and the precious pictures - you guys are in our prayers...

KON said...

You don't know me...I learned of your challenges from Staci Sinkler's blog. I cannot know what you are going through, and I am sorry for it. But do know that my prayers are with you. God is good.

Carrie said...

Man, we love you guys! May God continue to hold you close and give you peace and wisdom! We'll continue praying!
Carrie & Troy

Texas Staples said...

We love you guys and we're praying.
Randy,Mary, Ethan & JT

Tammi said...

Your family has been in our prayers. Your blog was passed on as a prayer request and my heart broke as I read it. I lost my brother to cancer when he was five. His life was short lived but his strength and love for the lord lives on in those that knew him. The day he died he told my Mom not to worry because he could see Jesus holding out his arms to him and everything was going to be ok. He was going to a better place. I pray for each of you and that God's will be done. The Lord has a plan for your future and just by reading your words you and your son have touched so many lives. Thank you for sharing Drew with us all. We will continue to pray for strength and healing for little Drew and for your family.

Ashley said...

Kari & Jordan
Our hearts are breaking for you, but we know that you have been very blessed to have Drew in your lives, even if just for a short time. We pray that you the Lord will give you comfort and strength.

Jeff, Ashley, Gunnar & Soren Landsgaard

beth and butch said...

I love you guys. Your family has been in my prayers daily for the last several months. My church home group is also praying for your comfort as well as Drew's on a weekly basis. Remember that God has never left your side. Your blog has been a source of encouragement for me personally to trust in Him.

Kathryn "Wiginton" Reynolds said...

Jordan,
My name is Kathryn Reynolds used to be Wiginton I am Richard's sister and I just wanted you and your family to know that I am praying for you and your family that God will give you strength and courage to get through this.

Katie said...

I love you guys! I am praying for comfort, healing, and the glory of God to be seen.
I will continue you praying as my heart aches for you!!!

The Harper Family said...

I just found your blog today through Chad Gardner. I want you to know that I am lifting you and your family and especially sweet little Drew up to the throne of God in my prayers. My heart as a mother is breaking for you but I am trying to remember that we serve a GREAT BIG GOD and he hears our prayers. I am adding Drew to our Monday night bible study prayer list tonight. A wonderful group of christian friends in Arkansas will be gathered tonight in Jesus name begging God to hear our prayers on behalf of Drew.
In christian love,
Lori Harper

Sarah said...

I, too, found your blog through Chad Gardner's.

Please know that I am lifting up prayers to the Father for your precious little Drew and for you and the rest of the family.

Sarah
Atlanta, GA

Tiffany said...

Just letting you know that your story has made it to Japan. Prayers all over the world are being lifted up for you and your family.
And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

You may not know why this his happening, or how its affecting others, but God has a plan. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

amyk2529 said...

Dear Jordan, Kari, and Drew - You don't know me but I have been kept abreast about what has been going on with Drew from one of my best friends Jodi (I truly consider her to be my sister). I hear the pain in her heart when she speaks about the struggles that little Drew has been through in the last year. Jodi discussed with me about going up to Canada and being there for your family like she knows you have been there for hers. I just wanted to write and let you know that not only is Drew in our prayers but the entire family holds a place close to our hearts down here in Texas. And even though we are strangers, please do not hesitate to call on us when needed. Drew is a miraculous angel. May every moment bring you peace and every memory bring you happiness.

Leafy D said...

I am praying for your Drew. I love his eyes in the pictures you have shared with us. Thank you for sharing everything you have, and I am grateful to pray for you all through this.

The Allens said...

Just prayed for Drew and you three as well, for healing, comfort, strength, and peace, and will continue to do so. We haven't met him but love him nonetheless. Tim and Amanda

Jaelyn said...

I know i don't know you very well, but through my dad i have been reading your blog daily. I have been praying for your precious Drew and your whole family. My heart is truly breaking for you right now. You will continue to be in my thought and prayers!!!
Jaelyn Marchildon

Julie said...

We are praying for you and Drew. Your courage and stength is inspiring.
Julie Neely
(Laura's friend)

Gabbin' with Giff said...

My heart breaks to think of what you are going through. I've carried you to the Father often and I'm praying for a miracle. Love to you! Kira

Sandi said...

May God give you peace and strength and bless your time with Drew as a family. Remember that the body of Christ is suffering with you and lifting you up before Him.

KELTIE said...

kari, jordan and peyton,
we have been following this incredibly heartbreaking journey from so far away. stephen and aisling have kept us informed and we have have been praying for little drew and your family here in winnipeg.
i cannot fathom what you are all going through...and the words you write are so touching and unbelievably accepting of whatever God's decision is for sweet drew.
our prayers are with you, the doctors and baby drew.
i know drew must feel the love from all those that are thinking and praying for him. it must be an incredible feeling for him...one we cannot even understand.
keltie, michael and girls - the woods(winnipeg)

JoceJ said...

Hi there,
You don't know me at all. I am one of Ellen Rich's granddaughters and I'm also married to Martin Pakosz's cousin.
We have heard quite about your family and have had a chance to read your blog.
I just wanted to let you know that you are thought of prayed for all the time. Your messages bring tears to my eyes every time I read them even though sometimes I feel I can't totally understand because I don't have kids.
You amaze me and encourage me with your strength and faith during this emotionally difficult time.
We will continue to pray for your family especially little Drew.
Jocelyn Jaszczyszyn

Demian said...

Kari and Jordan,

Nicole has kept us posted on updates on Drew and your family. All of you, and especially Drew, continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. As a mother, I can not even begin to understand what you are going through, and as a mother, I am amazed and heartened by your strength and faith. God is always with you and His love will help you through these difficult times.

Demian, Billy, Riley & Dylan in CO

EastonWest said...

While our prayers are frail,
God has placed in you a delicate boldness.
Our families continue to pray
Within your breast a golden trust.

Friends of Mark &Nicole,
Virg & LaNae West