Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Peyton's home

I guess that means we are all home.  We have actually been home for a couple days, but we have been trying to reconnect and avoid all distractions for a while, so I have not yet updated this!  I may be in avoidance mode, not wanting to sit down and write because so much has gone through my mind that I don't know where to start, or I may be in some state of denial or ??? - don't even know what to call it - where I don't want to sit down and write because I don't want to say something and then have to take it back a day later.  It feels like if I wait a bit maybe everything will settle down and Peyton will get to stay home for good!  As if I have any influence over what happens!!!  Silly the way the mind works on overload.

I feel a little like a fly buzzing around frantically.  Almost in circles.  Perhaps aimlessly, though not in the fly's mind.  Flying at that pace until it drops.  Then it drops.  I think it's survival mode - it's what I go into every time we come home from the hospital and some times it lasts longer than others.  It seems like things should be easier now and we should be moving past the idea that we have had to deal with some challenging things, but my mind doesn't know how to sort through this one.  Neither Jordan nor I know whether our grief process (over both Drew and the loss of our idyllic future) has been postponed, or abbreviated.  It has been a blessing in some ways to have had something to change our focus, as we have poured ourselves into supporting Peyton; however, in other ways, it has been so hard to mix the two groups of emotions, each with their own wear and tear.  I think that is partly why I feel like the housefly right now - I don't know where to settle, and what risks settling in one particular spot will bring with it.  I think I will just keep flitting about for a bit, until landing seems like a good idea.  

We are so glad to be home!  There isn't a day that goes by where Peyton doesn't mention at least once or twice how glad he is to be home.  He is doing amazingly well - Amazingly well!!  I am sure I wouldn't be bouncing (literally bouncing) back the way he is.  He had his bowel resection done two weeks ago today and the surgeon said he would be well on his way to recovery and able to resume most activities by 3 weeks, but to hold off on more significant activities until the 4 - 6 week mark.  He also said Peyton would know his body best and would slow down if he needed too.  Last Tuesday he was zipping around the hospital like he had never been better, and the nurses were just waiting for him to show that he was getting tired.  He didn't tire until he hit the bed.  He was a little sore the next day, but trying to restrain him that Tuesday would have been like trying to restrain the wind.  You try it!  By Thursday he was feeling better than he had in months.  We spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday outside, trying to clear the cobwebs and basking in the sun.  It was wonderful, and even more exhilarating to see Peyton brimming over with life. 

Last summer, we promised Peyton that as soon as the snow was gone this spring we would get him a two wheel bike.  He never noticed how fast the snow melted before, but he couldn't let any of us not notice it this year!  We finally held true to our promise this weekend and he got his bike.  He would bring that thing to bed with him if he could.  He rode it out the doors of the bike shop and was attached all weekend long.  We thought he would get tired, but he just kept going.  Today is the only day in the last 4 where he didn't beg nonstop to ride it and that is only because he was sure a tornado was going to hit (strong winds and rain, and a very active imagination).  I am sure we will be out and about tomorrow morning!  He seems to be recovering very well and hasn't complained of tummy pain or nausea at all since his surgery - Praise God!  We hope this will be the end of the complications and that he will not need any more surgeries.  The surgeons can't guarantee anything, but they said there is reason to be hopeful right now.  I'll take that.  Hope is good.

Here are a few shots and a video clip documenting the big day, they made me smile.
Eager anticipation...
Riding the new bike out of the shop.
Can you get that out any faster?  Be careful Mom!
Proud new rider
I think this is a rite of passage...

Video clip of Peyton's first official bike ride:

I am still working on trying to get an audio piece posted to add to that story I promised, but I will have to try again when I can think more clearly.  Hopefully that won't be weeks from now!!!

Drew - wherever you are tonight baby, I love you forever, and more!  I miss you like crazy-crazy!  I wish I could give your fuzzy head a kiss tonight and smell your forehead.  God, take special care of my Drew tonight.  Thanks for blessing my son with the gift of being in your presence and free from these cares. 


Anonymous said...

I am smiling through tears right now, looking at the photos of a healthy looking little boy on a bike. I cannot even imagine the mixed up emotions and feelings in your heart.
We will keep you all in our prayers.
Thanks for the post and sharing your lives and faith with so many. You continue to touch my heart.
Karen C

Anonymous said...

It is sooo wonderful to see you all enjoying a life moment together. No tubes, no pain, just pure joy!! Praise God!!
I often think of your little Drew. His picture is still on our fridge and everyone that doesn't know who he is asks about him.
We love you all and continue to pray for all of you.

Anonymous said...

Great post Kari. You have the gift of writing. We are so happy that Peyton is back home and that the surgery was a success.

Jason & Leigh-Ann

Anonymous said...

Hi Jordan, Kari and Peyton. Greetings from family Clark in England. We have just been checking out your blog and enjoying the stories. Many memories and so much has happened. Hope you are now enjoying more time at home and good to see Peyton having fun on his bike; expect the training wheels will be off by the time Kevin gets home!! Love from all in UK

Anonymous said...

Thanks for updating Kari. We will have to team Dawson and Peyton up for bike riding. It's a wonderfully fun thing to do!! Love you guys!

Michele and Ben said...

Kari and Jordan,

We are so excited and thankful you are home. Our thoughts and prayers still go out to you. Kari, call anytime. That's so great about Peyton's new bike.

Take care,

Melinda said...

Hi Kari,
Summertime is so wonderful. I'm happy Peyton got his new bike! How exciting! What a reward for his strength through the hospital stays. I hope you can stay home, away from the hospital, and enjoy the summer you deserve.

Anonymous said...

Great to hear! Way to go Peyton. Well done Mom and Dad, you're an inspiration to us all.

Jeff, Karen and Luke

Greg said...

We are so glad to read (and see) how much better Peyton is doing. Our prayers are being answered as we continue to lift Peyton up daily. I felt like I was standing next to Jordan through the video. It is great to see Peyton smiling and laughing again. We are so proud of all of you and look forward to all the good days ahead.

Greg, Misty, Caden, Addison, Emery and Harper Mathews

Nicole said...

What a wonderful post. I can't wait to come see you guys. Love you. Nicci

Brandi said...

I'm guessing no little guy has more so deserved a brand new bike and beautiful sunny weather to ride it in. Yah for Peyton! (This seems to be just what little boys need to be doing.) We're praying no more hospitals, except for happy reasons on the maternity floor.

Richard said...

Glad you guys are home. Continued prayers for your family. Love the video.

Anonymous said...

Waht the....?? How'd all these guys get on here before me, lol. (Sorry for slacking, but glad to read the update)!

Very happy about Peyton, and look forward to tomorrow!! I am also eagerly awaiting my first golf tourney in Drew's memory.....perhaps his spirit will guide my ball as it soars through the sky towards the green....but more likely will help his daddy score well, lol.

I sure hope Peyton and you guys will join us on one of our camping trips....all 4 will ride together on their new 2-wheelers....like a gang, ha. "WATCH OUT LITTLE LADIES, can we give you a lift? Yep these are our cool rides..."lol

We'll also roast a few marshmallows in Drew's honour too! Love you guys, proud of y'all, and please let us know if you need anything even now!...Except for a goalie on Monday night....ahem.


Laura said...

Landon and Liam loved watching the clip of Peyton. I'm sure he will have those training wheels off by the end of the summer!!

Landon said that he could tell Peyton was feeling better because of all his smiles!

Love ya'll.