It's Christmas night but we are not actually celebrating Christmas until tomorrow so our mental calendars are a little off. Ask me what day of the week it is right now and I will not be able to answer without a pause.
We hope you all have had a blessed Christmas and that you have thoroughly enjoyed some quality family time. We are with my family in Montana right now and are thankful to be surrounded by such a supportive and thoughtful family. Both sides of our family have done so much for us over the last year that we could not possibly say thank you enough. I found it so hard to shop for Christmas presents this year. Checking items off on a wish list wasn't enough this year - I wanted to get something more than a shirt or a book for those I love. As mentioned previously, our decision-making has taken a hit over the last couple months and though I thought that effect may have worn off by now, I was quickly reminded that it has not! Deciding on Christmas gifts this year when I had already determined I couldn't make shopping any easier by following someone's list was next to impossible! After all my shopping, I couldn't find anything that would have said everything I wanted to say in a gift so I settled for something that would remind them either of how much we love them, or of the value of joy in family.
We have filled Drew's stocking with something of significance for each member of the family here with us and I am looking forward to and yet feeling some sadness over that moment. How I wish my little boy was here opening his own stocking with our eager assistance. I wish he was here trying to get in his brother's hair and puttering around checking all the activity out. I would love to see what his fascination would be - bows, paper, boxes, the items inside, or just studying all the things happening. If I know my little Drew I think he would be studying everything going on, watching Peyton closely, and finding thrills in the Christmas lights. If he was here, I would have a big mylar balloon ready for him to see first thing Christmas morning. As it is, I will tell him "Good morning my precious Drew" before Peyton pulls us upstairs in his youthful excitement and I will find joy in both moments, different as each moment will be.
At this Christmas, there is nothing I can put on a wish list other than my unspoken wish... Thank you God for my family - I can ask for nothing else.
(Drew, I miss you baby. Thank you God for keeping my baby close and for sharing yours.)
May you all have a holiday that refreshes the heart!