My two bits... and then some

Once again, I am a little later than I intended in posting this newest post, but I just can't seem to get it together lately! Most of my recent spare moments have been spent tangled up with Peyton (literally - his newest pastime is wrestling!) or catching up with Jordan.  I don't think I will ever look at a spare moment the same again.  I was so close to telling a complete stranger this morning to stop and appreciate her children, and to slow her schedule down long enough to enjoy them.  I had to take Peyton to the Children's Hospital this morning for an eye appointment which was quite a challenging experience as the last time we had both been there was with Drew.  I think we were both aware of the odd feelings it presented and weren't sure how to deal with them.  Both of us were a bit melancholy throughout the experience.  Anyway, as we were leaving there was a mother trying to herd her three children (aged 5-10-ish) out of the hospital.  She was short with them and trying to squelch a disagreement between two of them.  One could fairly easily tell she'd had it with them and was ready to blow a fuse.  I had no ground to make a judgment because I may have reacted the same way if challenged with the same experience, but looking through the glasses I have donned, I just looked at her with sadness that she couldn't see the gift she had.  I was so close to saying, "You are so blessed to have three beautiful children - enjoy every moment with them, even the difficult ones."  I'm not sure how she would have reacted, but it hit me so poignantly at that time that children are such a gift so often overlooked or under-appreciated.  

As we were eating dinner tonight I was loving every minute of Peyton's ramblings and yet yearning for another little one to banter with him at the very same moment.  The thought of my little nephews Landon and Liam (4 and 2 years) interacting with each other made me wish I could sneak up and camp out beside Peyton's door to listen to him interact with someone the same way they must.  What a very special treat.  For my sake, all of those reading who have more than one, sneak up and listen to them every chance you get!  I know fighting comes with the territory and I'm sure I would get fed up with that angle, but how often do you really get to listen to two or more little people sharing their views on the world!??!  I can only imagine the conversations Landon and Liam must have!

I think the reason I wanted so strongly to give my two cents this morning is due to the fact that I used to be that mother racing around on a tight schedule, toting my children along.  I thought I was doing alright as a mother at the time, but looking at it in hindsight, I think I was living MY life, with them in it.  It occurred while searching for memories of Drew that I can remember many outings where I'm sure he was with me, but all I can remember is my mission at the time.  I can't remember him there with me in many of them.  I know he was just a baby and that's just how life has to be sometimes, but my view has changed lately.  I think I will be more inclined to make sure I am aware of Peyton and how he is feeling during our outings.  What is his view of our experience?  Is there something I could do to make it a better experience for him?  My father-in-law taught a really great class at church on Sunday and it really crystalized the thoughts that had been floating through my consciousness, that I need to have less of self and more of others.  In so many of my outings, they were about me - what I needed to get, what I wanted, where I needed to go, what I needed to buy for the kids, you get the point.  I don't think those outings were unnecessary, but my perspective had so much room for improvement!  Peyton lit up my day when we went shopping the other day, and we both had so much fun.  I know not every experience will be like that, but I hope this change in perspective will not be temporary.

I really did mean to post about our trip to Mexico, but this has been so strongly imprinted upon my mind lately that I had to share this thought.

We still covet your prayers as we are still waiting for test results about what type of mitochondrial disease Drew had and whether or not we can have more children or if it could affect anyone else.  Thank you so much for praying!!!