Can we roll back time and hold it there?

Daddy's favorite picture of Drew

One of Mommy's favorite pictures of Drew

There just is no easy way to say what we are having to say...  my heart aches to be able to tell you Drew has been miraculously healed, but that is not what I get to say right now.  Through my tears I will write that the doctors have given Drew a limited number of days before he gets to sit in God's lap and be held close by him.  I am still praying that they aren't right and that God has some wonderful plan to heal Drew at the last minute, but at the same time my heart groans for Drew every time he gasps for air or seizes with courage.  He is slipping away, bit by bit.  I never knew something could hurt so bad, and yet you have to keep breathing somehow.  The only way I am getting through this right now is by constantly reminding myself that "God is able to do immeasurably more than I can think or imagine." (Ephesians 3)  If He is going to do that and what I'm imagining is Drew healthy, running around in the back yard with Peyton having fun, it must be really good.  I know we will have to go through this pain and work through many struggles, but I also know God is good and will not leave us to suffer alone.  We have had so much support through the nurses, doctors, prayer groups, our church and so many churches and people we don't even know!  We had no idea the reach such a little one could have - we pray that God will change many lives through Drew's life.  He reminds me of a brilliant ray of sunshine that comes and warms everyone in its path but passes quickly to serve another purpose.  Please don't misunderstand me as I write this, we have absolutely not given up on Drew, but he is so far from the Drew we know that it feels that he is gone already in some ways.  God has performed greater miracles.  How will this miracle look?

Details:  The doctors came to talk to us Monday and told us that after looking at his most recent MRI and EEG that his brain is deteriorating.  He doesn't seem to see us anymore and cannot move at all.  Some of his body functions are starting to fail slowly.  The doctors estimate he may have days or weeks to stay with us, but they don't expect he will have months.  His condition/symptoms are in line with a mitochondrial disease, as they have been expecting all along.  We still don't have a diagnosis, but they are 99% sure this is what he's suffering from, and that it's a very severe form of these diseases.  Our prayers are these: that God would still heal Drew somehow, that God will be glorified through this, that Drew will NOT suffer, that God will strengthen our family, that this disease would be limited to Drew and not affect any of our other family members, and that we may be able to have more kids, unaffected by this disease, in the future if it be God's will.

We will try to keep you posted but I am just aching to get back to Drew's side right now and kiss his little head, smell his smell, listen to his heart beating so courageously and just to breath him in so I must sign off.  Thank you all for standing by us through this, we couldn't do it without you.